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I think alot about what makes some people come from hard hard places and end up just amazing people and I can see how where they came from has made them the amazing person they are...and about people who seem to be hardened or broken or turned into someone who has no concern for others by their background. and what is the thing that makes that huge difference?
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Re: what makes the difference?
Thu, February 28, 2008 - 6:56 PMThe amount of heart, soul, and compassion they have inside of them. -
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Re: what makes the difference?
Fri, February 29, 2008 - 1:42 PMThat's one of my first instinctual answers too. But then I am trying to figure out what specific traits make up heart and soul.
compassion I think is a key element for sure.
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Re: what makes the difference?
Thu, February 28, 2008 - 7:39 PMYou know, that's an EXCELLENT question that psychologists have been trying to answer forever. Some of it actually seems to be genetic in nature. The Diathesis Stress model provides some insight into the extreme ends of such phenomena in relation to actual mental disorder. The way it was described to me is imagine that everybody has a cup and the stresses in their life fill up that cup and when that cup spills over they will have reached their breaking point and start exhibiting mental disorders, but genetics determines how big your cup is. There has to be an interaction between environment and genetics in order for disorder to exhibit.
If you have some time take a gander at this, it'll change the way you think about genetics: video.stumbleupon.com/#p=trjny62bq0
A also think there are little environmental factors that make a HUGE difference, especially in combination. Such things are impossible to track scientifically, one gets weighted down in the infinite minutia of a living creature and its interactions. Something as simple as getting some excellent advice from a grandfather that stuck, having one good friend that you trust to always be there for you no matter what else is happening, or having a firm belief in a benevolent God can all be very powerful things. Then there are crux moments when a person is in crisis and whatever they experience in that time seems to make the difference in which way they tip. There is the complicated workings of a persons autonomic nervous system and how well your body can handle physical stress and it's branches your sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems which determine how easily you fall into flight or fight mode and how easily you recover from it. There is just so MUCH. So many factors! We focus on the great traumas and often forget all the little things along the way that made just as much of a difference.
But in the end the answer is, "We don't know." -
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Re: what makes the difference?
Fri, February 29, 2008 - 1:40 PMHmm I don't think I can go with the cup analogy...not completely because I think the stresses are what makes some people amazing as opposed to just regular healthy people. So the cup analogy seems like only half of the situation to me. Like definately people have different sizes of cups...but then there also must be something else about how people process the stuff that ends up in their cup.
I agree that little or seemingly little things can make a huge different.
one good friend definately. the god thing I think can push you either way. Some people process faith in god as some sort of scary thing that makes them sure they are horrible people...and some people process it as faith that things will turn out ok and that that line from I Am Queen comes to mind "my creator didn't make no mistakes on me." so I put that one in the powerful tool catagory...like a gun powerful but could be used for good or evil. If you believe in good and evil of course.
So I wonder...what is your instinct of what personality characteristics are key to someone processing stress in a way that makes them stronger and more empathetic? (of course stronger and more empathetic is my idea of taking the bad and making good).
So far the one that keeps coming back is a sense of personal responsiblity. Not buying into either it is everyone else's fault, or buying into I'm helpless and I can't do anything. But that inate(or is it inate?) sense that you have choices and are responsible for them. and that where ever you came from at some point you take over the sails and stear with the wind that comes along. -
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Re: what makes the difference?
Fri, February 29, 2008 - 2:12 PMThought: does stress truly make some people amazing or do amazing people shine in a crisis?
Yes, religion can be terribly harmful for some people. That is part of why I specified a "benevolent" god. Most folks who actually believe in a god or pantheon that is truly benevolent tend to have a happier outlook on life. However, if their faith is broken it can absolutely ruin them. No judgments about religions or faiths or lack thereof, just an observation.
I believe that a capability for critical but neutral self analysis is one component. Another, I think, is internalized motivation. A third is a strong ego and solid but flexible self identity. Yet another is a willingness to change opinions, habits, and perspectives and a tendency to look at things from multiple points of view. Ah, and optimism. Believing the world and its inhabitants are basically good goes a long way. A sense of purpose is also highly beneficial.
Responsibility can go either way. My sense of personal responsibility actually makes me neurotic. It's over developed. I am hyper-sensitive to responsibility and because I take it SO seriously I desperately seek to avoid as much of it as I can because what I have just by being HUMAN is overwhelming! I believe a lot of that was learned, but I had to have a willingness to accept that teaching. There are also some folks who weather AMAZING trauma by completely abdicating their responsibility to a god, and organization, fate, or some other symbolic authority. They reject responsibility but still simply have a strong desire to give kindness and assistance.
It's complicated. Any one trait alone is not enough. They have to support each-other. -
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Re: what makes the difference?
Fri, February 29, 2008 - 2:30 PMyou are making my head hurt(o:
I have seen people who thought god was benevolent...but were sure they were disappointing this amazing god with their unworthyness.
I can totally go with a critical but fairly neutral self analysis component. Yes that seems key to me.
hmm I hadn't thought of responsility going that direction but now that I think about it I can see that. So it needs to be a healthy sense of responsiblity. Not missing or over sensitive.
I will have to think about complete abdicating of responsibitlity and kindness. So far it's sounding like a concept I've never witness or concieved of...but I am willing to totally own that I have a bias against complete abdication of responsility, and connect it to god stuff and I'll have to work hard to see things objectively.
I definately agree that no one trait is enough. I am just thinking that some traits might be necessary, even if they are not enough on their own.
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Re: what makes the difference?
Sat, March 1, 2008 - 12:49 PM"Believing the world and its inhabitants are basically good goes a long way."
There was a time when I think we could have this way of thinking but I don't honestly believe that is possible in these days and times. I don't think I'm alone in this feeling either. Too many "bad" people out there who, when given even the slightest chance, will take advantage of the wide-eyed, "there's good in everyone" believers out there (aka, naive). It has become such a dog eat dog world even from my childhood years to now...I'm 52. -
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Re: what makes the difference?
Sat, March 1, 2008 - 4:51 PMWoah, back it up. There's a HUGE difference between believing people are basically good and being naive and gullible enough. Being basically good does not prevent people from doing horrible things sometimes.
I've never met a truly "bad" person in my life. I've met some really angry people, some scared people, some selfish people, some jaded people, some not-so-bright people, some too-smart-for-their-own-good people, and some confused people, but I've never met a BAD person. Most people have reasons for what they do though, and they truly believe their actions are justified. I believe to be truly "bad" or "evil" there must be intent. Accidents are accidents, which does not make the ACTIONS good but neither does it make the PERSON bad. -
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Re: what makes the difference?
Sat, March 1, 2008 - 4:56 PMI have met truly bad people...then again I work in the mental health aspect of healthcare...and see the uglier side of human nature...unfortunately the bad seeds were not met in that atmosphere. -
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Re: what makes the difference?
Sat, March 1, 2008 - 5:10 PM"then again I work in the mental health aspect of healthcare...and see the uglier side of human nature"
Yeeeah, and? My degree's in psych. I've been in the wards and worked for the wards, and the mental/physical handicap hospitals, and the rehab clinics, and the hotlines, and the local jail. Still never met a bad person. Look, if you start thinking the folks coming into the mental health ward are "bad" people it might be time for you to take a burn-out vacation. Folks aren't stupid just because they're having some psych trouble; they can tell when you think of them that way and you're not doing them any favors by sticking around if that's your attitude. -
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Re: what makes the difference?
Sat, March 1, 2008 - 5:14 PMThank you Dr. Freud. I'm not a nurse on the unit. I work in the legal department...but I do see some who are nothing but trouble. I applaud your ability to see good in all...but I'm a cynic...have always been and always will be. Your rose-colored glasses will never fit my nose. Sorry. -
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Re: what makes the difference?
Sat, March 1, 2008 - 6:24 PMFreud would likely be as insulted by your comparison as I am.
Sigh. Again, there is a difference between wearing rose colored glasses and being able to see that even people who do horrible things have their good moments. I'm not untouched by misery and abuse and suffering and pain. Most folks would tell you I'm a cynic as well. People do stupid and awful and horrible things ALL the TIME. But they've all had their moments of being good too. They all have things they care about, ideals they uphold, ethics they stick to, and traits that are laudable. NONE of that prevents us from being absolutely shitty to each-other on a regular basis. None of it prevents me from seeing the horror and violence and cruelty and willful ignorance everywhere. I also won't let myself draw the "us and them" line of saying there are bad people and good people in the world. There aren't. There's just people.
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Re: what makes the difference?
Sun, March 2, 2008 - 10:59 AMi have a feeling that working in the legal department might taint one's perceptions more than working in the wards.
as i said in my other post, jaded, it is the very belief that you are a cynic and can be nothing else that traps you in that way of seeing the world. nothing wrong with it if it makes you happy, but it doesn't look like it does. rose-colored glasses are no different than jade-colored glasses.... they don't change what happens around you, they just have you filter it in a certain way. changing glasses is entirely possible, and your experience of the world shifts. i've done it (and continue to do it on a daily basis) and i've seen it done by some of the most cynical burnouts ever.
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Re: what makes the difference?
Sat, March 1, 2008 - 12:44 PMWhy do they assume that everyone has a cup? Every time I've been approached with that "is your cup half empty/half full" question, I reply, "What makes you think I have a cup?" -
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Re: what makes the difference?
Sat, March 1, 2008 - 4:55 PMHA! Well, I don't think we're talking about the same cup but the reason they assume everybody has a cup is that it's very rare for a healthy person to pop out of the womb all insti-crazy. Usually there has to be a triggering event.
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Re: what makes the difference?
Fri, February 29, 2008 - 11:30 AMPerhaps, the "difference" is between who I am and what happens. As human beings, I think that we are the same: amazing. And, I have no idea what may happen in the next five seconds: oh shit!
Yeah, I don't know. -
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how makes the difference?
Sun, March 2, 2008 - 1:15 PMPerhaps, the question is not what, but how? We may judge what we are. We may also judge what we have done, and how we may have done it regardless of what. Do you see a difference? I think that how I respond is my response ability, and this may be the only choice I get to make.
I desire to let go of my judgements, those stories my mind comes up with, and love us anyways. -
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Re:Love makes the difference?
Sun, March 2, 2008 - 4:16 PMGreat Question .......... Strong Voice....
****Hi**** ...waves..... (mmphosis, lelsie, myriad and jaded)
I think it's love.... what we love......... we are passionate about........... how much love we pour into our communication of that passion .... We get to choose the volume and the level............. -
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Re:Love makes the difference?
Mon, March 3, 2008 - 5:03 PMYou're welcome(o:
I think that I see being capable of loving as a sign that you are healthy in a way or area of yourself and life. So while I think that love is extremely important and doing things with love is a huge influence on if we live well and stay healthy I wonder what makes one person come out of an abusive home and be able to love and be loved? and what makes another unable to love and/or be loved?
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Re: what makes the difference?
Sun, March 2, 2008 - 10:50 AMi thnk it comes down to belief systems.
someone who has a belief that it's possible to have challenges and still be happy comes through the hard places relatively unscathed, and someone who has a belief system that the world is a bad place, and that things aren't fair, is likely to turn out hardened and broken, jaded and cynical. in other words, it's about whether a person believes their circumstances define them or not.
and the person who has also figured out that it is actually possible to choose another belief system, and therefore to shift what the outcome will be, is the one who emerges from what might seem to be the most impossible circumstances in the most amazing way. -
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Re: what makes the difference?
Mon, March 3, 2008 - 4:59 PMI agree. But I think what I'm wondering is what makes one person capable of seeing that challanges come and you can still be happy and one person not be able to see that? -
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Re: what makes the difference?
Mon, March 3, 2008 - 6:20 PMit's their belief system... and our beliefs come from many places, and often are made up of an amalgamation of what we were taught, what we experienced, what we've heard, what we know intuitively...
we all have belief systems, and if we want to have power in our life, it's good to be able to examine them... for people whose beliefs bring them a sense of peace and happiness already, they might not be compelled to do that so much, but for those who believe things that bring them suffering (e.g. god is punishing, men are untrustworthy, i am ugly), then the freedom lies in being able to learn how to shift one's beliefs that aren't working for them.
there are people who believe they cannot change, perhaps because their parents told them they'd always be an idiot, or their teacher told them that they cannot learn something, or because they were picked on as a kid and decided that there was something inherently wrong with them. and even those people, when they find themselves in a learning situation, perhaps the words of someone else, or a book, or just a personal epiphany, then they see that their belief was what was holding them back all along.
i'm listening to echardt tolle right now in the live webcast class for oprah's book club, and his new book ' a new earth' -- this is how people learn and the awareness is spread that we are able to affect our experience of life by choosing our thoughts, and shifting our belief systems. -
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Re: what makes the difference?
Mon, March 3, 2008 - 7:08 PM.. leslie ...
as a kid and decided that there was something inherently wrong
I think that's hitting the nail right on the head................ and the kid grew ......but the conversation did not .............
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Re: what makes the difference?
Tue, March 4, 2008 - 10:20 AMI think it's that amalgamation I'm thinking about. and wondering what element shows up in it to make some people Pollyanna (and I mean that in the wonderful way) and some people self defeatist.
I can see how powerful what you believe is. I see that everywhere and everyday. I believe that part of the reason I'm so amazingly blessed is by the simple act of recognizing my blessings. Someone else could have the same life as me and be miserable and always be looking for what they don't have. But because I see the blessings I am happy. and because I see them more and more come.
I just wonder how did I get the blessing of being able to see my blessings? (o: I know there is no answer for that, but I've been thinking about it and wondered what you all thought of it. -
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Re: what makes the difference?
Tue, March 4, 2008 - 2:16 PMpollyanna-ish is, to me, as i think you know, **always** a wonderful thing.
some of us just have a natural inclination to positivity, i think. when i was in the second grade, my teacher said i was delightful because i was the pollyanna of the class.
and, natural inclination or not, it is entirely possible -- because i have seen it happen over and over -- for someone who filters things through negativity and powerlessness to have the ephiphany that they can indeed create happiness, because they were the ones responsible for creating their unhappiness. i went to a workshop once about the law of attraction, right after the secret movie and book came out, and there was a guy next to me who was the perfect example. he told me he'd been negative his entire life, he thought it was who he was and how it had to be... and then he read the secret, and started listening to the audio, and he realized that he'd had the power to shift that all along, simply by shifting his thoughts.
in just a couple of months, he saved his marriage and totally transformed how he was experiencing life. he was so lit up, so glowing with the power he'd reclaimed, it was absolutely phenomenal.
we see what we look for, we get what we think about. wherever someone is in a certain moment, when they get that's how it works, they have the ability to look for something better, to think about something positive. -
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Re: what makes the difference?
Tue, March 4, 2008 - 4:01 PMYes(o: I just wanted you to know I was agreeing with you about Pollyanna
Yes I think that's true. I think some people do have a natural inclination to positivity. and I think you can wake up and change things.
I remember when I was 18 the family that I was living with told me I was negative. I was shocked and horrified and did not believe I was negative. But I watched myself intensly and began to notice that I didn't say positive things out loud. I would think them, but I very rarely ever complimented anyone or spoke about the positive things I was thinking. But I would definately say the negative things. I didn't like that so I made a commitment to myself to say the positive. No matter how uncomfortable it was, no matter what. I would say the positive. and I began and from the random lady at the store who I said "cool skirt" too as I walked by to everyone in my life and to myself I began saying the positive things out loud. and it shifted me hugely. I don't remember when I began to believe that what you feed grows but I think that was a turning point in who I am that fed the even bigger things since then.
I still held alot of anger and cynism and crap, it wasn't spilling out of me anymore it was deep down and focused at a few people and situations in my life. Until I fell in love with my then husband and was just so joyful to be where I was I had this realization that I would not be there if any of those things I'd resented had not happened, that I wouldn't be me or where I was and since I loved me and where I was those things had not cheated me out of the things I'd wanted but rather had brought me to what I had and that I wouldn't trade what I ended up with for the dreams I'd had.
I guess I get stuck thinking about the why because deep in my heart I share a bit of MsMary's buttshine and I really do think people can change and be transformed...and when they don't or even more confounding they seem to go deeper into negativity I start to wonder if I'm being unfair. If maybe they really can't. Maybe I want to be able to give up because it's painful to have hope that someone will be the good person I see underneath while they seem to work so hard to be the lowest of what they could be. -
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Re: what makes the difference?
Tue, March 4, 2008 - 4:37 PM".and when they don't or even more confounding they seem to go deeper into negativity I start to wonder if I'm being unfair. "
I think that's the balance between giving them the benefit of the doubt, but not actually expecting them to reach it... and then not getting too cynical to think automatically that they won't. ;) it's hard to have the positive outlook that people are essentially good, without also having the expectation that they *will* fulfill that. If your expectations are too low, then you can end up surrounding yourself with people who suck too much from you. If your expectations are too high, you'll be continually frustrated and disappointed with them. -
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Re: what makes the difference?
Tue, March 4, 2008 - 5:27 PMbasically
another razors edge to balance on(o: -
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Re: what makes the difference?
Tue, March 4, 2008 - 6:40 PM"another razors edge to balance on(o:"
I'm right there with you, babe. we can have a tea party. :)
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Re: what makes the difference?
Tue, March 4, 2008 - 7:53 PMPositive thinking can work wonders for sure. In my family, we have the natural tendency to think: "I you don't have anything to complain about, you're not paying close enough attention." Sad, but true! Despite being raised to be a nopey naysayer, I got shit done anyway. I have always had the natural inclination to achieve despite my level of happiness or outlook on the world.
I changed my outlook when I decided I was tired of being a nopey, but my drive has always been there.
To touch on your paragraphs about false modesty etc. I think that denying one's natural abilities for whatever reason is a crime against nature and yourself. Humility should never mean mediocrity, quite the opposite. It should open up our eyes to experience the wonders of one another and ourselves. -
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Re: what makes the difference?
Thu, March 6, 2008 - 11:03 AMok, I've been thinking about your post. and I think what I've come up with is that I wasn't equaling success with happiness or healthiness. Yes being healthy would mean being successful in certaint things...but I think you could have lots of drive and become very successful at lots of things and still not be happy (which to me is being successful at life, well maybe not happy as much as fullfilled/joyful).
Yes having motivation is vital. But it's just part of what I was thinking about. Though an important peice. But a peice that can be there without the parts that heal us or help us become successful in life the way I'm thinking about. Maybe it's one of those things where all of the seeds have to be present. There must be a seed for motivation and a seed for seeing how our thoughts and actions create our environment and a seed for...
hmm I need to think more.
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Re: what makes the difference?
Sun, March 2, 2008 - 10:21 PMI think the most concrete thing I can attribute it to is luck, and that's not very concrete.
I may react more positively than another, I may have a different experience than they do, anything and everything is a variable and then there's the aspect of how we are hard-wired, as Myriad suggested. The specific combinations that produce the results can never really be explained conclusively.
One might argue that it's belief systems, but I know people that interpret the same belief systems into allowing different behaviors depending on what they think the behavior means. We may have total control over what and who we are or none at all, most think it's somewhere in the middle. I guess that's why I go with luck. It also keeps me humble. -
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Re: what makes the difference?
Mon, March 3, 2008 - 5:06 PMI'm curious why being humble is a good thing...or maybe what that means to you.
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Re: what makes the difference?
Mon, March 3, 2008 - 11:23 PMTo me humility is simply realizing that I am no better or worse in value than anyone else. I am equal to everyone. We have different capabilities, talents, experiences and purposes and none of us truly know that of the others let alone our own half the time. How could I ever know the true value of any human being to put myself on a pedestal? Elevating myself in value presumes the right to assign value and that can lead to prejudices, even of the more abstract kind. Of course, we all do some of this all the time, albeit unconsciously or otherwise, but it's not a bad goal, I think, to realize that everyone is as valuable as ones self. We are all made with the stuff to have a rippled influence. -
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Re: what makes the difference?
Tue, March 4, 2008 - 10:17 AMI believe that. I can even see that that is what humility is supposed to be. It seems that it's been used so much to keep people down. Don't believe you are better than anyone else...is said...but the message that went along with it was "because you are nothing special"
for me I believe I am totally special and unique...just like everyone else(o: I think you see that too it's just that word hits me wrong.
Is there a word that more expresses not we are all the same down here...and more we are all special wonderful magic in some way? Like I don't think I'm above anyone else...but I tend to think myself and everyone are higher than most people I think. -
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Re: what makes the difference?
Tue, March 4, 2008 - 10:24 AMThe word had been distorted in connotation. honestly, I don't even hear of the word and certainly not the concept anymore. I think our society has come to value self importance to the detriment of our communal relationships. I suppose that's the nature of a competitive economic system and the social impact it has. The sad news is we never stopped needing each other, we have just started denying it.
The word that rubs me the wrong way is 'self-determination' in the context people use it today. I'm not even convinced there is such a thing ultimately. I really wonder why we need to feel self-determined? Why do we need to impose the concept of control onto anything? Doesn't it steal away the joy of just being somehow? Now, I'm all about choice, but I would have to see compelling evidence that proves we are totally in control of our lives but the definition of control would have to sorted out first. -
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Re: what makes the difference?
Tue, March 4, 2008 - 10:32 AMgrowing up I heard it alot, and definately in connection with christianity and being humble before god. which icks me out.
I will have to think about the self determination thing. I'm not sure I know what that means or how it's being used these days. Or what I think of the concept necessarily. I do struggle with the concept that I'm not in some kind of control of myself and my life. I can see that it causes me pain when I think I should be in control of more than I have any influence over. I'm still trying to find a balance though between choices and controling the sails even though I can't control the wind. -
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Re: what makes the difference?
Tue, March 4, 2008 - 2:29 PMi don't have semantic connotations about the word 'humble' from my upbringing... though i do think that humility is a mark of a peaceful person, someone who isn't so tied up in their own personal ego and self-identity that they are unable to appreciate the wonderfulness of the other different kinds of people around them, someone who isn't driven to always have to be the focus of attention.
i do, though, abhor false modesty, which is what i think is what a lot of people take on as if it is humility. i think false modesty is a dangerous thing... pretending not to hold a certain power or talent, playing down your own greatness in order not to shake other people up. this is how we create a world of the lowest common denominator, where everyone dresses, thinks and acts the same... and that kind of world is boring!
i think if we would all be proud of what it is we're good at, be willing to acknowledge our gifts and superpowers, then the confidence and happiness level would rise all around. honest, if your superpower is that you're a fabulous cook, or have the ability to make people feel good about themselves, or paint pictures that move people, then it's ok -- no, actually, it's *important* to say that, to acknowledge that it is what makes you special, what makes you happy, the gift you give to the world.
pretending that you're just an ordinary person, no different than anyone else, is not how to get the most out of life at all... in fact, i think it's often cowardly and the safe route. i say... know who you are, and be it, big and bold... but don't forget to appreciate the other wonderful people around you, who are also wonderful and superheroes, but in different ways. we can all be great, and all acknowledge the greatness in each other.
and self-determination... i dont really use that word, though i can see that i might since i believe that we do each determine how we experience our lives, and we do indeed have the ability to generate experiences that we want to have. that doesn't mean we're responsible for everything around us, of course, so as sv says, trying to control the wind is futile... but choosing to allow the wind to blow and to still be happy? that is the secret of life. -
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Re: what makes the difference?
Tue, March 4, 2008 - 4:06 PM>>>pretending that you're just an ordinary person, no different than anyone else, is not how to get the most out of life at all... in fact, i think it's often cowardly and the safe route. i say... know who you are, and be it, big and bold... but don't forget to appreciate the other wonderful people around you, who are also wonderful and superheroes, but in different ways. we can all be great, and all acknowledge the greatness in each other. >>>
Exactly. I have had people have extremely snotty or angry responses to me when I talk about the things about me that I think are great. Somehow in their mind they have things set up so someone has to be ahead...but I don't I don't think my wonderfulness diminishes anyone else's and I don't think my light shining bright takes anything from the other bright lights or beautiful sounds or wonderful flavors. I think the heart of that issues is the attitude that there is always a winner, someone is always on top. Or the converse that I see in religious settings that no one can be on top and any sparkle is trying to be on top.
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Re: what makes the difference?
Tue, March 4, 2008 - 2:53 PMVoice,
it sounds like you are partly trying to identify the human soul, and partly trying to identify the line between nature and nurture. I don't think there's a definitive answer to either. :) It's the same mystery why 4 kids all from the same parents and upbringing can turn out completely different in their life outlooks and beliefs. Deconstructing it is like trying to hold something inherently intangible. ;) Sometimes the analysis can help us make changes in our lives, but I think there comes a point where we just have to accept whatever blessings we have and feel at peace with that.
I had forgotten about this tribe til it popped up on my activity list today. this has been an interesting read. :) -
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Re: what makes the difference?
Tue, March 4, 2008 - 4:07 PMtotally intangible. sometimes when I'm questioning something I end up knowing i have to accept that there is no answer. but sometimes something clicks for me about how things work. even if it isn't exactly an answer to the question I was asking(o:
I was so excited to see you post!
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Unsu...
Re: what makes the difference?
Thu, March 6, 2008 - 10:38 AMu ppl might wanna join the astrology tribe. -
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Re: what makes the difference?
Thu, March 6, 2008 - 10:55 AMwould you like to expand on how that relates to this question?
I'm not being a brat I'm really interested because I do notice patterns in people based on their charts. I'm interested to know what connections are see with this discussion. -
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Unsu...
Re: what makes the difference?
Sun, March 9, 2008 - 11:17 AMI just thought u might benefit from studying astrology cuz I've red the first few posts and realized u were debating these very interpretable issues-general questions that pop up in life, and astrology is especially efficient in offering answers in those more blurry directions.
For instance, astrology applied to human psychology will surely explain which people will react in this rather than that manner when coming across an obstacle. Which is the very debate topic here.
How people end up in life is a psychology question. It's about what each individual will see as important and valuable in life-therefore, some will have that desire to fight and struggle against all obstacles naturally, even without being brought up in harsh conditions.
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Re: what makes the difference?
Sun, March 9, 2008 - 1:37 PMI don't agree that it will surely explain which people will react in one manner and which in another.
Infact I often wonder this about astrology stuff. What makes one scorpio go to the extremes of honesty and ethics while another is the master manipulator/liar?
I've been thinking lately that I think we have both sides of any issue inside of us. It may be that the extremely honest side comes out, or it may be that the pathological liar comes out. But both sides of that coin are within that person. I think astrology can tell us which coins someone is born with...but not what they'll do with them, or which side will land facing up. -
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Unsu...
Re: what makes the difference?
Sun, March 9, 2008 - 2:11 PMIt's all about probability. One astrological aspect alone will show u the coin, it's up to the rest of the chart to flip that coin on one side or another. -
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Re: what makes the difference?
Sun, March 9, 2008 - 2:31 PMhmm, so does that mean we have no influence on the out come? -
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Unsu...
Re: what makes the difference?
Mon, March 10, 2008 - 2:56 AMwell, to stir up the general bowl of prejudice, no, we don't, because astrology shows u the very energy engine that keeps ur being alive and functioning-it shows what people truly need and truly want deep down, so basically, someone who is unaware of astrology's uses is very vulnerable in the face of others' manipulative tendencies.
It's not like we have no influence at all, but more like these outer influences act through us. So u're still the one to carve out ur own destiny, but astrology shows u what ur long range goals are and how u'll try to achieve them. These goals can be altered, of course, by upbringing, environment, early experiences, and so on, but they will still be about 80% accurate.
I mean, all the people I know, without exception, act out their charts. So, by knowing their charts and a little something about where they come from and what they've been through, u get to know their psychology in about 95% out of the total. But astrology is just a language, a code. So it's not like astrology tells u to do this and that. -
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Re: what makes the difference?
Mon, March 10, 2008 - 11:56 AMi've been studying my own chart for 15 years now, and there's no way i'd say that 95% of understanding me is possible through my chart, nor that you can look at my chart and have any real sense of my personal goals. no way. tendencies, sure. possible ways of thinking, yes. but to say that astrology is 80% of who we become? i' can't agree with that.
but if you are positing that astrology is the surefire way to tell who is going to be positive and who is negative, what specific aspects would you say are the indicators of that? -
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This is the maximum depth. Additional responses will not be threaded.Unsu...
Re: what makes the difference?
Mon, March 10, 2008 - 12:08 PMlol. there are no "specific aspects", it's about how they all relate.
And I didn't say it can tell u who's gonna be a murderer, and who's gonna be a nun. Ya need more personal info about that person.
And it really depends about the amount of specifications u expect when it comes to reading a chart. Of course, if someone half around the globe would read ur chart, without any knowledge of ur environment, they would never guess that u dream of having ur hand made soaps being sold at I dunno which store is most prestigious in ur city..-for instance. But they might be able to tell u that u seek to blend beauty with the practical, and are talented at using ur hands, for instance.
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Re: what makes the difference?
Mon, March 10, 2008 - 12:24 PMFunny, my long range goals came through personal introspection, but I guess that's rather out of vogue these days.
Astrology is interesting and neat and fun to discuss but I am of the opinion that, like so many other things, it should never be taken too seriously. -
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This is the maximum depth. Additional responses will not be threaded.Unsu...
Re: what makes the difference?
Mon, March 10, 2008 - 12:38 PMwell, astrology is about introspection. all about it, actually.
But, yeah, most things in life shouldn't be taken seriously, I guess. I don't take it life or death seriously, either. I just know a lot of people personally who don't know themselves as well as I do, simply because they refuse to consider this so-called "pseudoscience".
On the other hand, they let themselves be guided by much dumber and irrational social concepts and ideas, simply because "most people do". From that perspective, astrology can be a mind-opener.
Doesn't really matter if there is a higher plan out there that includes all of us, or if there are certain mistakes we might avoid by knowing more about how the Universe works- u're gonna know that once u're dead-life's not that long, anyways.
What matters most is that u consider this possibility. That everything u've known and everything u've been guided by up to a point in ur life is a lie. That u're not always in control, and that order exists above, beyond, with or without us. We're very self-centered as a species.
Personally speaking, astrology helps me stay centered. -
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Re: what makes the difference?
Mon, March 10, 2008 - 12:53 PMNo, astrology is the absolute antithesis of introspection. Introspection is looking within. Astrology is looking to the stars. Just because they both frequently involve defining and seeking to understand the ego does not make them the same.
I know a lot of people who have very flaky ideas about who they are because they live their life according to the constellations rather than seeking their own inner voice as a guide. Thinking you "should" be a certain way because your chart says you should is a dangerous thing. Avoiding or engaging in certain behaviors because "the stars are aligned thusly" is a mindless way to live one's life and, as far as I can tell, only serves to shovel all personal blame onto the stars and prevent one from actually owning one's decisions.
Don't put quotes around pseudoscience when referring to astrology. It's not a science. It is a mystic art at best. When you can provide me with reproducible laboratory results for astrology THEN you can start trying to call it a science. Until it rests upon empiricism it's a practice, a belief, and entertainment, but NOT a science.
Astrology can, and often is, just as much a mindless carrot for fools to follow as any other belief. It is not inherently mind opening. It is not inherently beneficial. It is not inherently useful or true.
Astrology will not magically reveal lies or deceit all around you. It won't show you the "true" face of the universe. It can easily be the mask for another type of con and cheat. It is also one of the most human-centered of the mystical beliefs. It uses the cosmos as a way to predict human egos and affairs! How much more self-centered does it get?
Really. I get queasily suspicious every time somebody starts waving magic fix-it-all crystals in my face.
I might argue about that centered bit. -
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Unsu...
Re: what makes the difference?
Mon, March 10, 2008 - 1:21 PMpseudo-science means "fake science". It's a term the skeptics use to define astrology.
And, of course, everyone is entitled to believe whatever they like, but judging someone through the light of their beliefs is crude prejudice.
Just because u've known people that use it in the worst possible way, doesn't mean it is astrology's fault. It's their fault. And not every astrology-interested person will be "mindless".
And I do know what introspection means. I have gotten into astrology after too much self-analyzing and too few conclusions. I was, as they say, "stuck", and needed a hand. Astrology worked better than any therapist because it touched me on a personal level.
Some people will jump head-first into it without first having analyzed themselves freely, and naturally, end up following it blindly because of a few things that they felt matched, and just assumed the rest would, as well. I mean, if it's right about ur past, it will be right about ur future, right?. Wrong.
U make the future.
On the other hand, there are many people who were so self-centeredly raised to believe they are absolutely unique, in control of their environments, free, and so on, that they read their charts like an old beauty queen would stare in the mirror, long after she's won her crown, being shocked at what she sees-her illusions are shattered, so the first impulse is to either break it, or get the heck away from it.
They just can't handle what they see.
So, the idea is it doesn't really help everybody. To some, it can be more of an obstacle. But it's all about what u really want in life.
If what u really want is to be happy, fulfilled on a personal, and professional level, and not so much on a spiritual level, if u just want a full, happy life with minimum worries, then astrology is probably not the thing for u.
Astrology is for people who have a compulsive need to find a higher truth, answers to the heavy questions of life, and all that. Generally, people that just can't accept the fact that they might be living a lie. -
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Re: what makes the difference?
Mon, March 10, 2008 - 1:31 PMWee, there you go. I know exactly what pseudoscience means and I think it describes astrology just fine.
Judging a person because of their beliefs is NOT prejudice. Now, if I were keeping you from getting a job that has NOTHING to do with astrology because you believe it that might be prejudice, but a person's personal beliefs and actions are all we CAN judge a person on.
Ah, of course. When astrology doesn't work it's the practitioner's fault. Classic.
I never said every astrology person would be "mindless." Go through and read it again.
Every-body IS absolutely unique; just like every-body else. I've never seen astrology strip a person of their illusions. It's too vague. Usually, if anything, it will reinforce the illusions you have. Folks will make their chart mean what they think it should mean and astrology is flexible enough to allow that. Just like tarot astrology is composed of archetypal symbols that can be powerful tools of contemplation but are also highly subject to interpretation.
And I would say that if you want to be happy and have a minimum of worries astrology would be your bag of tricks, but if you want spiritual fulfillment even most astrologers will tell you you're barking up the wrong tree. It doesn't give you "higher truth." It doesn't stop you from living a lie.
Oh bloody hell. We've hijacked this thread enough. I'm starting a new one. Everybody come on over if you want. -
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Unsu...
Re: what makes the difference?
Mon, March 10, 2008 - 1:50 PM"beliefs and actions are all we CAN judge a person on. "
yeah, but precisely because astrology is soo "vague", nobody has so far managed to either prove it wrong or right, so basically u're labeling people as "wrong" or "right" according to ur impulses, which is unfair, and unethical.
It's the same as teenagers using music genres as criteria for spiritual enlightenment.-"What? U don't like Metallica? U're such a moron.."
And astrology can strip u of illusions, if u are willing to see. U can't wait for it to poke u in the eye. The world's greatest diamonds remain unpolished.
"And I would say that if you want to be happy and have a minimum of worries astrology would be your bag of tricks, but if you want spiritual fulfillment even most astrologers will tell you you're barking up the wrong tree. It doesn't give you "higher truth." It doesn't stop you from living a lie."
well, it definitely gets u a lot closer to the truth than other completely irrational systems of belief. And believe it or not, it does keep u grounded. If u strip most people out there of their social context and ladder, all that's left is a skeleton.
Astrologers can do without it and still stay focused.
But, ya know what, I don't care if u consider it or not. It's ur loss, anyway. -
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Re: what makes the difference?
Mon, March 10, 2008 - 2:12 PMI'm going to have to agree. I think astrology is a tool and if you are willing to see things then it can show you things that help break away illusions. I definately think people can and do use astrology along with every other belief system to back up their illusions and what they want to believe...or they can use it to explore themselves and the world.
I think astrology definately can be a tool to self exploration. I have found it to be freakily accurate about people. but even if it wasn't every question and idea that we examine and then accept or reject is self exploration so even if it mostly turned out to not fit you(which I've not seen with a full chart and some thoughtful time invested, though don't ask me how it works) then it would still have some value.
I also think that trying to describe astology as a science or not as a science is both off. I mean there is definately science there in the calculations, on the other hand I don't think you can measure what the essense of astrology and what it brings to those of us who find something valuable in it by science...it's simply not concrete or measurable outside of ourselves.
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Re: what makes the difference?
Mon, March 10, 2008 - 12:54 PM<<Personally speaking, astrology helps me stay centered. >>
And this is the key, I think. I would never presume to make assumptions about another based on their skin color, religious upbringing, cultural background, or date time and place they were born. Astrological insights must be filtered through your own knowledge of yourself, and making a generalization about another because of a single aspect of their chart or even a combination of elements in their chart is unwise on so many levels. Astrology itself is full of so many variables it takes a vast amount of integration in order to piece together a reasonable picture of influences; and it will never be complete without the other elements outside the realm of astrology, such as genetics and upbringing and learned attitudes and, as the original topic is discussing, the things that happen to us without our permission. Astrological positions will never choose how I react to a given situation, just as my father's teachings will never overrule how I make my decisions. Influence? Yes. But determine? Nope.
I think that's what the question is. How come some people break away from a history of abuse and become champions of the innocent and others become abusers themselves? How is it that someone born under twelve different signs of laziness will exhibit only industry? What makes some people break under pressure and others thrive? That's not astrology. That's not upbringing or belief in a higher power or even one good mentor. There is a kernel, a spark, a divine element of something, something that can make an individual thrive against all odds, and I want to know what it is too. -
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Re: what makes the difference?
Mon, March 10, 2008 - 1:57 PM~I think that's what the question is. How come some people break away from a history of abuse and become champions of the innocent and others become abusers themselves? How is it that someone born under twelve different signs of laziness will exhibit only industry? What makes some people break under pressure and others thrive? That's not astrology. That's not upbringing or belief in a higher power or even one good mentor. There is a kernel, a spark, a divine element of something, something that can make an individual thrive against all odds, and I want to know what it is too.~
exactly that is exactly what I am thinking about! -
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Unsu...
Re: what makes the difference?
Mon, March 10, 2008 - 2:02 PMsee? there's the antropocentrism I was talking about. Testosterone and serotonin become "sparks of divinity" in no other species but ours. -
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Re: what makes the difference?
Mon, March 10, 2008 - 2:17 PMthere are sparks of divinity IMO in every living thing. Maybe they come from testosterone and serotonin, why not? nature doesn't have to use inexplicable magic to be divine and full of magic.
Thinking there are sparks of magic in people is only anthropocentrism if we believe we are the only ones with those sparks. Just thinking humans have sparks does not make us self centered. Recognizing our own divinity is not the same as thinking only we are divine.
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Re: what makes the difference?
Mon, March 10, 2008 - 2:43 PM"Testosterone and serotonin become "sparks of divinity" in no other species but ours."
Eh, that COULD be because they don't sit around talking about this stuff. Or about anything, really. Not so far as we can tell.
And if the whales really ARE talking to eachother how do you know that's not what they're saying? -
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Re: what makes the difference?
Mon, March 10, 2008 - 2:57 PM"Eh, that COULD be because they don't sit around talking about this stuff. Or about anything, really. Not so far as we can tell.
And if the whales really ARE talking to eachother how do you know that's not what they're saying?"
*L* agreed. exactly. :) just because we don't speak their language doesn't mean it's not being said. that's like assuming the French never talk about philosophy because I can't understand what's being said to recognize it when they do.
there's also the possibility that humans are the only living species that have a higher consciousness, a sense of self and independence. And if that's true I don't think that somehow invalidates our connection with divinity. -
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Unsu...
Re: what makes the difference?
Thu, March 13, 2008 - 11:46 AMbut why do we necessarily feel like they're the ones that must "rise" to our level, instead of bowing down to them?
Why sparks of divinity, when it can just be completely unmagical and unspecial-like a chemical reaction.Nature. Animals react wonderfully in some stress situations and so do we-all for one and one for all.
Why do we have to make such a big deal out of everything? Like that whole...some come from way down and make it to the top, and others are born with everything and destroy themselves-there's no mystery, really. Maybe psychology and astrology haven't managed to come up with an accurate answer-on their own! But if u put them together they do.
Well, what most people want to know is not how some people have made it, but more like..what do they have to do to their kids to get the same results? Astrology first, psychology after.
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I am an animal
Thu, March 13, 2008 - 4:26 PMWho ever said anything about thinking animals had to "rise" to our level? I've learned a LOT from animal behavior about myself and other humans. Science, especially biology, continues to take lessons from the other creatures on this planet. Oh, yeah, a lot of folks have the arrogant notion that we're the pinnacle of evolution just because we're the best on this planet at our specialties of cognition and creation, but nobody here mentioned such feelings.
And what's unmagical about chemistry? What's unmagical about nature?
And what possible use is astrology without psychology? You try raising a child on astrology alone. Go for it. I pity your children but that's the price Darwin demands for them having you as a parent and it will be an interesting experiment/lesson. -
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Unsu...
Re: I am an animal
Fri, March 14, 2008 - 1:37 AMU kidding? U could do a lot better with astrology and some feeling to raise ur kids rather than talk to a therapist.
And the unmagical bit...it's unmagical because it's all rationally explainable. Mystery implies that not everything is explained rationally. -
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Re: I am an animal
Fri, March 14, 2008 - 7:26 AMActually, it's NOT all rationally explainable. Not yet. We still have limits to both chemistry and biology that stymie us. It's a mystery. The functioning of neurotransmitters like serotonin is, coincidentally enough, one of those mysteries.
Sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
And who said magic had to be mysterious and could not be explained rationally? Many a magical system has claimed to be quite rationally explainable. Astrologers try to explain why their system is rationally explainable all the time (gravitational pull, minute magnetic influences, etc. It doesn't hold up but it's interesting). And psychology is not about therapy. Therapy is a very small branch of psychology, even though it is the one that laymen encounter most frequently.
Go forth, learn to tell shit from Shinola, and THEN come back and talk to me about this.
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Re: I am an animal
Sat, March 15, 2008 - 5:40 PMI can explain rationally how my sons came to be. That doesn't make it any less magical. I don't think magic = mystery.
I have the option(I'm not saying everyone does...that's sort of what this whole thread is about when I think about it) to choose to see magic in natural normal things. I'm actually a very rational person at my base, my paradox is that I've discovered that I can make a choice to find love and joy in the irrational...and it fits my rational brain perfectly to choose that option once my brain has sorted through the potential issues of that choice in any given situation.
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Re: what makes the difference?
Sun, March 9, 2008 - 2:53 PMi do study astrology and find it very valuable in understanding different aspects of myself, and different transit influences that i might be dealing with. there is great stuff there in understanding the subtleties of my personality and drives, and occasionally it's a tool to help me understand something about someone i'm close to, but it's often a case of a little information being a dangerous thing.
astrology is hugely complex. trying to use astrology to dissect what makes one person optimistic and another pessimistic is, to me, either far too big of a task (since you would have to understand so many different things, and look at so many elements and aspects), or it's just using the wrong tool for the job... because in the bigger scale, saying "they're that way because that's their chart" then requires another gazillion hours of subtle evaluation to come to the understanding.
so as an additional source of insight about someone specific, absolutely, but in the context of a multi-dimensional person, it would be like wanting to understand them by doing a biochemical scan... possibly a source of interesting information, if you're willing to spend hours in the lab interpreting it, but it doesn't have to be that complicated. -
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Re: what makes the difference?
Mon, March 10, 2008 - 1:53 PMI link leslie's post (03/09 2:53 PM) sums up why I've never given much credence to astrology. I feel far too many people use it for issues that are too broad and complex, while also having done too little work or analysis. So it ends up being a case of " a little knowledge is a dangerous thing".
As far as people using astrology as their daily guide or belief system, I see that as being no different than any traditional religion. I don't buy in to religions or religious practice either, but I respect that it works for the individual.
on a funny note, I sometimes mix up words when I'm tired, particularly similar sounding words. The other day I excitedly exclaimed to my bf "ooh, there's an astrology lecture for free at the university tomorrow!" I was very disappointed when he explained that they would not be discussing planets, asteroids and comets. ;) -
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Re: what makes the difference?
Mon, March 10, 2008 - 3:51 PMi once went to what had been promoted as an astrology session on top of mount tam when there was a big conjunction of several planets.. we got there and it was all astronomers, which was fine, but someone who wrote the posting apparently didn't know the difference. at least i got to see some cool close-up planets ;^)
but i'm worried that you took my post about astrology being too complex to try to use it to determine everything, and that you think i'm saying you shouldn't give credence to astrology. i mean exactly the opposite. i have learned as much about myself through astrology, and through considering different elements and influences in my chart, and trying on different ways of understanding using astrology as a language, as i have in any other self-development approach. astrology can be truly remarkable.
as sv says, astrology can be eerily on the mark in many many ways. there is something undeniable there, and i intend to hold it close as a tool for when i need a little additional insight about myself or my relationships. it's not a religion at all, since there is no "you must believe this" to it. -- it's more like learning the mysterious sign language of the universe. it's not about the language itself, it's about the message and the energy that the language is describing. -
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This is the maximum depth. Additional responses will not be threaded.
Re: what makes the difference?
Mon, March 10, 2008 - 4:51 PM"but i'm worried that you took my post about astrology being too complex to try to use it to determine everything, and that you think i'm saying you shouldn't give credence to astrology."
lesie,
sorry, I just worded my post sloppily. What I meant was that the vast majority of people I've encountered who claim to practice astrology have been ones who sort of "weekend it" or crash course it. They read a blurb or book here and there, then without doing more intensive study string those bits of info together to paint intricate issues with a very broad brush. They aren't armed with enough actual history or study to actually make a worthwhile analysis. And it's those kinds of astrology practioners that have caused me to tend to tune out when people speak of astrological answers. In other words, their lazy or inept practice of the belief has prevented me from giving their assertions respect and credence. I think I've met one, maybe two people in my life that I felt knew what they were talking about. I could say the same of zen buddhism or wicca.
Perhaps a better way to say it is I don't think the beliefs are inherently without value, just that the way most people practice those beliefs diminishes its importance and validity for me. In other words, the tourists give the place a bad name. ;) -
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Re: what makes the difference?
Mon, March 10, 2008 - 5:41 PMi have to say i've met a good number of people in my life who had amazing and wonderful interpretations of astrological energy and principles.
each one interprets differently, because they tune in differently, and filter the energies differently. and the things they see, and that i see when i have the chance to sit with it, are really valuable insights. but i meet very few people who are just entirely talking out their ass about it, and when i do, i just ignore them, like i do with people who are just talking out their ass on any subject.
quantum physics or astrology, restaurant reviews or business advice, there are people who know their stuff and who can explain it, and those are the ones to seek out, i think. i'll consider anything that might have an answer that might unravel the secrets of the universe just a little tad more. -
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Re: what makes the difference?
Mon, March 10, 2008 - 6:35 PM"i have to say i've met a good number of people in my life who had amazing and wonderful interpretations of astrological energy and principles."
it's quite possible that my experience is atypical. :) honestly, if I had met more people like yourself (meaning in person, not online) I'd probably feel differently. I've known many people who had interesting or educated views on spirituality, but few of those subscribed to any particular religion or astrological practice. that and having a bf who knows a staggering amount about nearly any religion has influenced my take on the issue.
I think a noticeable difference for me is that those who do know their craft, so to speak, tend not to be the ones to continually spout it. They tend to be the ones who live it, without making a fuss. They're happy to tell you about it when asked, but they not preachy or quick to spout off. They do the walk instead of the talk. I have a dear friend who has made a drastic change in his life during the time I've known him, revolving his daily actions around his spirituality. He's made changes in diet and dress as well as behavior and actions to adhere to his beliefs. He's traveled extensively and studied when he traveled, including India and Africa. I completely respect the choices he's made and his devotion. He's unassuming about his accomplishments and knowledge, but is happy to explain when asked. Most impressively to me is that he may bring up a point to consider when he sees me doing something contrary to his beliefs, but he doesn't judge or press. And because of his dedication to his beliefs I'm happy to listen when he does bring it up.
"i meet very few people who are just entirely talking out their ass about it, and when i do, i just ignore them, like i do with people who are just talking out their ass on any subject."
that's pretty much what I was saying. :) I just notice that behavior is more explicit when it comes to religious or political views.
have I derailed us now? -
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Re: what makes the difference?
Mon, March 10, 2008 - 7:40 PMderailed, shmerailed ;^) it's all good!
i think another difference is that you want to classify astrology as a religion, while some want to categorize it as a form of science, but it's neither of those to me... it's a system of patterns. how and why it works is a mystery to me, and i'm not really hellbent on trying to figure out why. i'm pretty practical about it.
i will say that most of the people who i know who are interested in astrology are indeed spiritual people, and are searchers into the nature of the universe. -
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Re: what makes the difference?
Tue, March 11, 2008 - 2:16 PM"i think another difference is that you want to classify astrology as a religion, while some want to categorize it as a form of science, but it's neither of those to me... it's"
leslie,
I think that's an interesting point. I do classify astrology as a belief system so I loosely group it with religion, which I also consider to be a belief system. "belief system" as in a structured philosophy and practice that is adopted by a group, usually with a long history behind it. not as in a person's individual beliefs.
it sounds like you use astrology as a tool to assist in a path of your own creation. whereas the vast majority of people I know who practice any kind of religion use it as an excuse for avoiding any responsibility for guiding their own lives. they don't bother examining their actions or assuming control of themselves or their lives, because their religion has already set their path and does the "thinking" for them. Your approach sounds much more beneficial. :)
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Leslie: patterns
Tue, March 11, 2008 - 3:08 PMThat's about how I view astrology as well. It's a series of patterns and symbols. Sometimes oddly accurate, occasionally not, and frequently highly open to interpretation.I can't see it as a religion as there is not worship involved nor does astrology address the afterlife or have any central organization, doctrines, dogma, etc. I don't view it as a science because it is not, nor does it show any signs of becoming, empirically based.
For me astrology is an interesting set of patterns that can lead to interesting questions and discussions. It's a goad for further thought more than anything else.
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Re: what makes the difference?
Fri, March 7, 2008 - 12:57 PMThe true measuring stick for a person--any person--is not the number of their accomplishments, but the depth of their compassion for others. -
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Unsu...
Re: what makes the difference?
Sun, March 9, 2008 - 11:18 AMT.E. Lawrence(lol),
that sounds like something a Pisces would say. -
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Re: what makes the difference?
Mon, March 10, 2008 - 12:25 PM<<T.E. Lawrence(lol), that sounds like something a Pisces would say. >>
and that sounds like something a condescending know-it-all would say. even if you are personally acquainted with TEL or he was in fact born under the sign of pisces. -
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Re: what makes the difference?
Mon, March 10, 2008 - 12:41 PMThe funny thing is that it's all so very vague. It also sounds like something a Cancer, Virgo, Libra, or Aquarius would say. -
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Unsu...
Re: what makes the difference?
Mon, March 10, 2008 - 12:53 PMactually compassion is pure pisces business-whether it comes from the sun sign or any other part of the chart influences. U could be an Aries Sun, but have ur Sun conjunct Neptune, planet of Pisces, and be a lot more compassionate than, say, a Cancer Sun with Sun conjunct Mars, planet of Aries.
Then, u could be a war veteran and be an Aries Sun with no water in ur chart, and be a lot more compassionate than a modern day 20-year-old Pisces who's been spoiled since birth. -
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Re: what makes the difference?
Mon, March 10, 2008 - 12:58 PMplease do not put anyone in a box like that. it's really really pushing my buttons right now, Mantis. -
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Re: what makes the difference?
Mon, March 10, 2008 - 12:59 PMokay, just for kicks, go ahead and put me in a box. what sign would you label me? -
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Unsu...
Re: what makes the difference?
Mon, March 10, 2008 - 1:28 PMMiele, I have seen like...5 of ur posts. I'm not Copperfield. And, like I've said, it's not just the Sun. there are tons of other aspects to be considered. -
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This is the maximum depth. Additional responses will not be threaded.
Re: what makes the difference?
Mon, March 10, 2008 - 7:36 PM<there are tons of other aspects to be considered.>
exactly my point.
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Re: what makes the difference?
Mon, March 10, 2008 - 1:13 PMReallllly. Compassion is pure Pisces? That doesn't even jibe with the other astrology I know. Pisces can be compassionate, sure, but it surely doesn't own the trait. Libra's the one who's all about understanding the other's point of view. Even Aquarius with their rampant humanitarianism is probably more compassionate than Pisces. Pisces may have compassion for the world or the species or humans as a concept but one-on-one they can fail to come down to earth enough to relate to real world people. They can be detached and neglectful, not wanting to dirty their hands with the mundanity of "messy" people's day-to-day concerns.
It's one thing to be a star-pusher, but at least know the art if you're going to be peddling it. All the signs have different traits and characteristics associated with them but there is a hell of a lot of overlap. The most devout practitioners of the art will tell you NEVER to try to judge a personality based on just the sun sign.
Nobody owns compassion, and this is the sort of thing that leads me to believe that taking astrology too seriously is dangerous. Being a Pisces does not make you compassionate. Being a Capricorn does not mean you aren't compassionate. NEVER box yourself in because of some stars (which have precessed in any case and are no longer necessarily dominant in the sky during the months believed to be ruled by them). -
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Unsu...
Re: what makes the difference?
Mon, March 10, 2008 - 1:26 PMwhat? where did I say I was judging by Sun sign? I would never do that.
And Pisces is the most compassionate-ask professionals. I meant Pisces as a sign-the sign's general description. When the Sun hits Pisces, the life lesson to be learned is empathy and touching divinity-parting with the ego. -
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Re: what makes the difference?
Mon, March 10, 2008 - 1:34 PMMy mother IS a professional, or was, back in the day when you had to do your computations on paper with an armload of charts and computations rather than just plug data into a computer. And the more traditional interpretation of the lesson of Pisces is the BALANCING of spirit and ego and getting the ego to work with the spirit, not letting go of ego. Jeebus, the sign's symbol comes from Aphrodite and Eros, getting rid of ego isn't really their thing.
And your comment about T.E. sounding just like a Pisces sure sounded like judging by sun sign. -
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This is the maximum depth. Additional responses will not be threaded.Unsu...
Re: what makes the difference?
Mon, March 10, 2008 - 1:40 PMMy comment about T. E was meant as a joke. u ppl just saw it as an attack, as..what u wanted to see. -
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Re: what makes the difference?
Mon, March 10, 2008 - 4:12 PMi have to admit i keep getting stuck on reading "u" and "ur" and having to translate them into actual english. back when i used to moderate a rave list, my eye could translate im-and-teen-speak into real words, but i think i've lost my touch.
mantis, i'm not sure what your experience is in the world in general though your profile says you're 18 going on 1000, which if it's true might explain some of this... from your profile i do see that astrology is a language you rely on a great deal. there's nothing wrong with that... except that you appear to be trying to use it in a conversation that is not going to fit into that little box. you said you believe that astrology would tell us who is naturally optimistic and who is not, but then you say you wouldn't be able to tell if someone were going to be a nun or a murderer.
i think the problem is that you're using the wrong tool for the job. sometimes astrology is a great tool -- when you turn it inward and use the archetypes to understand yourself, or if you want to understand general energies, trends and transits. but as a predictive tool, as you readily admit, it comes up short. and as a one-note conversation topic, it gets boring pretty fast, unless you're in astrology tribes, where people are happy to argue about that shit all day long. ;^) -
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Unsu...
Re: what makes the difference?
Tue, March 11, 2008 - 11:37 AM"i have to admit i keep getting stuck on reading "u" and "ur" and having to translate them into actual english." I use it to save time. I'm a slow typer as it is.
"mantis, i'm not sure what your experience is in the world in general though your profile says you're 18 going on 1000, which if it's true might explain some of this... from your profile i do see that astrology is a language you rely on a great deal. there's nothing wrong with that... except that you appear to be trying to use it in a conversation that is not going to fit into that little box. you said you believe that astrology would tell us who is naturally optimistic and who is not, but then you say you wouldn't be able to tell if someone were going to be a nun or a murderer."
I'm 19, actually. Forgot to update that.
And there is a whole lot of difference between determining a general personality/temperament trait such as optimism, enterprising spirit, mental acuity, observing spirit, meticulousness and so on, and determining an actual character trait.
First of all, traits of character are all in our heads. They all imply some form of discerning between good and evil, right and wrong. Which is, one might argue, necessary to ease up thought processing and communication, but the problem is, in nature-planet-Universe-whatever u wanna call it- there is no right and wrong.
First of all, there is no Christianity-which is the system that still guides human laws and society today. So, basically, murderers and psychos don't exist and can't be spotted with precision on any astrological chart. A murder is just nature's way of handling over-populating.
Like someone in this thread said, astrology shows u the coins-mainly. But it also shows u how they might turn on one side or the other.
A murderer might be a generally optimistic person who, precisely due to the habit of always seeing the glass half full situation all the time, will react irrationally and totally unpredictable when faced with something so shitty he just can't color, not even with all the pink in the world.
A person who isn't used to handling difficult, unpleasant situations very often might kill when put under mental pressure. Doesn't mean he/she wasn't an optimist or was necessarily a pessimist before getting the life sentence.
Astrology can show tendencies, and I haven't claimed anything more than that. But saying someone is a murderer-or even psychotic- before they actually do something condemnable would be going back to medieval times.
It can, however show one's tendency to snap a lot easier than others. And, even better, can help parents raise their kids in a way that helps them develop harmoniously, and avoid snapping situations altogether. -
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Re: what makes the difference?
Tue, March 11, 2008 - 1:02 PM...... wow
You live in a COMPLETELY different world than the one I'm inhabiting. No wonder you make no bloody sense! -
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Unsu...
Re: what makes the difference?
Tue, March 11, 2008 - 1:10 PMwell, I'm sorry to hear you have that little logic. -
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Re: what makes the difference?
Tue, March 11, 2008 - 1:19 PMYeah...... 'cause a world based on extreme polarities of good/evil and astrology is a logical world.
Good luck when you hit the real world. -
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Unsu...
Re: what makes the difference?
Tue, March 11, 2008 - 1:25 PMwhat the heck are u talking about? I just said I don't believe in good and evil-or at least, implied it.
And just for the record, there is no "real world". There's only one world-and that's the one u perceive. Whether it is real or not is not for anyone to say.
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Re: what makes the difference
Tue, March 11, 2008 - 2:28 PMi see. so i will apologize for the ageist comment i am about to make...
as an elder to a younger woman who clearly has a good brain at her disposal, and an interest in sorting out how things work, i encourage you to step back, watch and listen, and learn from the people around you about the great varieties of ways to view the world. astrology is cool, but it's not the ultimate or only answer...
there is a process as we mature, and we all go through many stages. one of those stages is the late adolescent i-have-it-all-figured-out stage, and it sounds like that's where you are with this astrology is the be-all-and-end-all stance. i have vague memories of that time in my life, when i was so confident that i knew what was what... it was exhilarating, and i loved that time in my life (though i wish i could remember it better ;^) but it is a way of thinking that falls quickly by the wayside when you have more life experience that show you the range of things that are possible. and soon, you find yourself amused at your naivete when you were younger.
so maybe you can check back in 10 or 20 years and let us know if you still believe that murder is nature's way of handling overpopulation? and that christianity is the only system of morals at work in the world today? i think that more life experience will show you why these things are not true.
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Re: what makes the difference
Tue, March 11, 2008 - 2:49 PM"A murder is just nature's way of handling over-populating. "
*L* I'm sure I'm reading that wrong.
coz otherwise by that logic suicide is also nature's way of handling over-population, and so are birth defects and mental illness. just like rape is just nature's way of handling insemination. yeah, that works. ;)
"Christianity-which is the system that still guides human laws and society today. "
perhaps in one tiny corner of the world. but I hear there are all these crazy countries like India and Africa and Egypt and Japan where humans also exist. ;) -
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Unsu...
Re: what makes the difference
Fri, March 14, 2008 - 2:04 AM"*L* I'm sure I'm reading that wrong.
coz otherwise by that logic suicide is also nature's way of handling over-population, and so are birth defects and mental illness. just like rape is just nature's way of handling insemination. yeah, that works. ;) "
Pretty close, actually. Birth defects are just birth defects, though. They're like printing mistakes. I don't think they are "planned".
And the rape thing-it happens in nature a lot, as well, for pretty much the same reasons-males feeling rejected by their communities and unconsciously led by the urge to reproduce.
It might sound crazy, but when you look at it from a detached point of view, it makes sense. Suicide is also apparent in a species of rats, though not as a conscious choice.
It's something about a hormone they secrete. When too many of them live in the same area, some will go nuts cuz of the high concentration of that hormone and start migrating to the ocean and drop in.
Well, we don't have the hormone thing. But we have our highly evolved brains to think ourselves to death.
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Unsu...
Re: what makes the difference
Fri, March 14, 2008 - 1:57 AMI've written a very long reply to this yesterday, but apparently it never "made the screen".
So, here it goes again:
"as an elder to a younger woman who clearly has a good brain at her disposal, and an interest in sorting out how things work, i encourage you to step back, watch and listen, and learn from the people around you about the great varieties of ways to view the world. astrology is cool, but it's not the ultimate or only answer..."
Ok, I'm not implying astrology is the "ultimate answer", I'm just implying it's intriguing enough to be CONSIDERED. And I have done and still am doing a lot of listening.
There might be tons of ways of looking at the world, but the result is the same in the end-an image of the world that u can make practical use of. So, why choose to follow the curved line between point A and B, instead of taking the straight one? Saves time.
"there is a process as we mature, and we all go through many stages. one of those stages is the late adolescent i-have-it-all-figured-out stage, and it sounds like that's where you are with this astrology is the be-all-and-end-all stance. i have vague memories of that time in my life, when i was so confident that i knew what was what... it was exhilarating, and i loved that time in my life (though i wish i could remember it better ;^) but it is a way of thinking that falls quickly by the wayside when you have more life experience that show you the range of things that are possible. and soon, you find yourself amused at your naivete when you were younger."
Actually, I don't feel like I have it all figured out, and probably never will. Only an idiot is always 100% sure of himself.
But that's precisely why I wouldn't neglect this very insightful "pseudo-science". It shows u a side of life that nothing else does, except maybe numerology-to a much lesser degree.
And I think u are mistaking getting caught up in the whirl-wind of life for maturing. Just because 10 years from now I'll be over my head in shit that needs immediate attending, it doesn't mean astrology will cease to exist.
In fact, that's one of the things that make me still believe in astrology-when I look at people who are all caught up in their day-to-day issues, and see how they are expressing their chart energies even more clearly than those of us who are used to take one step back and actually look at ourselves every once in a while, I realize that this is so friggin' accurate!
"so maybe you can check back in 10 or 20 years and let us know if you still believe that murder is nature's way of handling overpopulation? and that christianity is the only system of morals at work in the world today? i think that more life experience will show you why these things are not true."
I didn't mean to say Christianity as in the belief system itself.
But the world is still under the influence of 2 milleniums of monotheist religions that have taught us all "right from wrong" and that we all the chosen breed that should rule the world and use its resources.
And even without realizing it, these mentalities persist and many are infiltrated in the very legal systems which guide our societies.
They are fading away, but it will take time for all the debris to be cleared away. Maybe a century, maybe more.
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Re: what makes the difference
Fri, March 14, 2008 - 5:31 PMactually, mantis, your original contribution to this conversation about what makes the difference between optimists and pessimists (basically, i'm paraphrasing) was "you ppl might want to check out the astrology tribe." that does pretty much directly say (not imply) that astrology is indeed the answer, and also led us to infer that you assume none of us know anything about astrology or other contributing factors.
you do pretty much come across as someone who thinks they have it all figured out, in large part because you keep making sweeping pronouncements about life. your perception of yourself as 19 going on 1000, as you say in your profile, adds to that impression.
i get that (if you are in fact 19, since after all this is cyber-world), you are very smart and have learned some important stuff so far, and major props for that. but maturity is not just "the whirlwind of life" -- it is learning to look, to question, to listen, to process, and to expand your understanding beyond what you think to be true. it's a growing awareness of what is possible, and learning to see what you don't know as well as what you do. you can discount years of experience as if it was all just busy work, but it's not.
i just wanted to share those thoughts, since when we are misunderstood by people, it's often because we're sending out impressions of who we are and what we think that we're not aware of. those are the impressions i am left with about you. -
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Unsu...
Re: what makes the difference
Sat, March 15, 2008 - 1:53 PM"actually, mantis, your original contribution to this conversation about what makes the difference between optimists and pessimists (basically, i'm paraphrasing) was "you ppl might want to check out the astrology tribe." that does pretty much directly say (not imply) that astrology is indeed the answer, and also led us to infer that you assume none of us know anything about astrology or other contributing factors."
woow, woow. I did not say all that. I just meant exactly what I wrote. I used "might want to" precisely because I know not everybody has a mind and inclination for astrology, but it does give an extra point of view.
I don't think astrology can be used as a substitute for psychology, or medicine, or anything-but it can do a great deal of completing the missing puzzle parts.It's like you have a bunch of rocks in a jar-those rocks are like the exact sciences in this world, and astrology is like the sand you can throw in to complete the empty spaces.
"if you are in fact 19, since after all this is cyber-world"
LOL. Why would I lie about my age? The reason why I joined the tribe was to learn more about astrology and more about interpreting my own chart. Therefore, I had to post the chart made according to my exact time of birth-down to the minute.
So, if u don't believe me, go check the ephemeris on astro.com, and u'll see that Pluto was in 15 degrees Scorpio in 1989, along with Neptune, Saturn and Uranus all in Capricorn. These positions by signs haven't repeated themselves in the past century.
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Unsu...
Re: what makes the difference
Sat, March 15, 2008 - 1:55 PM"i just wanted to share those thoughts, since when we are misunderstood by people, it's often because we're sending out impressions of who we are and what we think that we're not aware of. those are the impressions i am left with about you."
I don't get it. "who we are and what we think that we're not aware of"? What do you mean? -
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Re: what makes the difference
Tue, March 18, 2008 - 8:50 AMNot that Leslie needs anyone to speak for her, but you left out an important part of that sentence Mantis
>>when we are misunderstood by people, it's often because we're sending out impressions of who we are and what we think that we're not aware of.<<
You left out the **when we are misunderstood by people, it's often because we're sending out impressions of**
Does that make more sense to you?
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Unsu...
Re: what makes the difference
Tue, March 18, 2008 - 12:31 PMwell, I got the part about sending out messages but don't understand of what exactly?
How can one send a message of what he/she thinks she is not aware of? -
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Re: what makes the difference
Tue, March 18, 2008 - 12:49 PMOK put it this way...
often we're sending out impressions ~that we're not aware of~ of who we are and what we think that cause us to be misunderstood by people
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Re: what makes the difference
Tue, March 18, 2008 - 2:03 PMthanks, nk, as usual, you know what i'm saying.
and mantis, i keep trying to put it another way, then re-reading what i already said, and realizing that i already said what i wanted to say.
the most important thing i said before was the paragraph before the one you quoted. the one about listening and learning through experience. go back and read it again please. -
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Re: what makes the difference
Thu, March 20, 2008 - 2:31 PM**curtsys*
You're welcome!
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Re: what makes the difference?
Thu, March 13, 2008 - 1:09 AMWell, the truth is that I am not acquainted with either of you ladies, though I would not object to becoming so. ;-)
Now, the facts: I am NOT a Pisces, I am a Virgo. Not that it matters in the least, as I do not follow nor believe in astrology.
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Re: what makes the difference?
Thu, March 13, 2008 - 6:13 AMI TOTALLY woulda guessed virgo ;-)
honest.
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Re: what makes the difference?
Sat, March 15, 2008 - 5:26 PMif it's true it doesn't matter if you follow or believe in it or not(o;
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Re: what makes the difference?
Mon, March 10, 2008 - 9:42 PMcomparisons. :(
Okay, what's the difference between a pessimist and an optimist?
“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”—Winston Churchill
www.brainyquote.com/words/op...6593.html
:)
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Re: what makes the difference?
Tue, March 11, 2008 - 12:58 PMCompassion. The ability to empathize with another and to feel for another's difficulties or pain without losing one's sense of self. That is what makes all the difference. -
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Unsu...
Re: what makes the difference?
Tue, March 11, 2008 - 1:10 PMmakes all the difference in what?
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Re: what makes the difference?
Tue, March 11, 2008 - 4:38 PMCompassion. Deep awareness of the suffering of another coupled with the wish to relieve it.
www.thefreedictionary.com/compassion
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