what makes the difference?

I have met truly bad people...then again I work in the mental health aspect of healthcare...and see the uglier side of human nature...unfortunately the bad seeds were not met in that atmosphere.

Yes(o: I just wanted you to know I was agreeing with you about Pollyanna

Yes I think that's true. I think some people do have a natural inclination to positivity. and I think you can wake up and change things.

I remember when I was 18 the family that I was living with told me I was negative. I was shocked and horrified and did not believe I was negative. But I watched myself intensly and began to notice that I didn't say positive things out loud. I would think them, but I very rarely ever complimented anyone or spoke about the positive things I was thinking. But I would definately say the negative things. I didn't like that so I made a commitment to myself to say the positive. No matter how uncomfortable it was, no matter what. I would say the positive. and I began and from the random lady at the store who I said "cool skirt" too as I walked by to everyone in my life and to myself I began saying the positive things out loud. and it shifted me hugely. I don't remember when I began to believe that what you feed grows but I think that was a turning point in who I am that fed the even bigger things since then.

I still held alot of anger and cynism and crap, it wasn't spilling out of me anymore it was deep down and focused at a few people and situations in my life. Until I fell in love with my then husband and was just so joyful to be where I was I had this realization that I would not be there if any of those things I'd resented had not happened, that I wouldn't be me or where I was and since I loved me and where I was those things had not cheated me out of the things I'd wanted but rather had brought me to what I had and that I wouldn't trade what I ended up with for the dreams I'd had.

I guess I get stuck thinking about the why because deep in my heart I share a bit of MsMary's buttshine and I really do think people can change and be transformed...and when they don't or even more confounding they seem to go deeper into negativity I start to wonder if I'm being unfair. If maybe they really can't. Maybe I want to be able to give up because it's painful to have hope that someone will be the good person I see underneath while they seem to work so hard to be the lowest of what they could be.

Positive thinking can work wonders for sure. In my family, we have the natural tendency to think: "I you don't have anything to complain about, you're not paying close enough attention." Sad, but true! Despite being raised to be a nopey naysayer, I got shit done anyway. I have always had the natural inclination to achieve despite my level of happiness or outlook on the world.

I changed my outlook when I decided I was tired of being a nopey, but my drive has always been there.

To touch on your paragraphs about false modesty etc. I think that denying one's natural abilities for whatever reason is a crime against nature and yourself. Humility should never mean mediocrity, quite the opposite. It should open up our eyes to experience the wonders of one another and ourselves.

growing up I heard it alot, and definately in connection with christianity and being humble before god. which icks me out.

I will have to think about the self determination thing. I'm not sure I know what that means or how it's being used these days. Or what I think of the concept necessarily. I do struggle with the concept that I'm not in some kind of control of myself and my life. I can see that it causes me pain when I think I should be in control of more than I have any influence over. I'm still trying to find a balance though between choices and controling the sails even though I can't control the wind.