...E....just once...it was enough to show me that we are all the same behind these masks that we wear. We all fear, we are all uncertain....we all want to be loved and to give love...to appreciate and give appreciation.

For me it was mostly a slow gradual thing, with the occasional eye-opening (or mind-opening) experience giving occasional speed to the process. Also, my self-learning process didn't *really* start to show significant pregress until I also realized it is neverending. I am a constantly changing creature, and will spend my lifetime learning about myself. I will never know it all... and that's totally ok. :o)

it was forcing myself to be open about the stuff I worried made me a freak...as time went on and other people not only didn't run away but also shared what they thought made them a freak I got to see what a not big deal it was.

also a moment when I heard Dr Phil say "You'd care less what people thought of you, if you knew how rarely they did"

wow...that hit me hard enough to shift my perspective.

i have had several catalysts for evolution in my life, and i continue to grow and become who i am.

becoming a mother was a moment that made me into a real adult, because as you moms know, once you're a mom, you know what sacrifice is and you become part of a world where you are no longer the center.

leaving my marriage was another, having that moment after all of those years when i decided that i was ready to decide what was right for *me* and to make it happen as responsibly as possible.

the landmark forum and landmark education's curriculum for living was a huge catalyst. it was the first time i'd ever had the kind of straightfoward tools to stop carrying around my personal baggage, much of which i hadn't ever even acknowledged was baggage before. the freedom of that, and the accelerated transformation that comes from making big commitments and meeting them, and knowing who i am and what i want in life, was remarkable, and turned me from a powerful person into a powerful leader, confident of my voice.

being part of founding the san francisco late night coalition, during the same period of my landmark work, gave me some incredible opportunities to put what i'd learned into practice, and shifted who i was for the people who knew me. it was a whole new league.

turning 50 was important, too, because i had to start owning being an elder, and a wise woman, in my communities, and in the world.

and there was one hot magical transcendental romance that i carried on with a much younger man for a few years that validated and inspired me like nothing else ever did, and it changed me forever.

What kind of questions are these?

I am not interested in being "cozy," simply being is enough. And, there is no entity kicking me, there are just a lot of meaningless memes and traps to be aware of. I guess I am not "there" yet. I am here now, in my body. I continue to uncover layers and die with each breath.

some of it was digging through and sorting out the residual stuff of a dysfunctional familial upbringing including the loss of a parent at a very young age with the help of some very competent albeit unconventional soul/psyche counselors.

some of it was an intact and innate sense of self worth that nothing could or did diminish.

there was no single seminal life experience but perhaps a lifetime of patterns emerging coupled with the ability to transcend the dysfunctional therein using the tools i was given and the wisdom i had cultivated over the long process of digging through and sorting out what had been left over by the past.

i became really good at reusing and recycling even the worst of it. this propelled my sense of self further than anything i can think of.

A combination of things, and it is still an ongoing process. I feel more in tune with the world than I ever have before.

A series of struggles and failures finally allowed someone to get through my boundries and I decided that it was time to take responsibility. That in itself wasn't what changed how I feel about myself. It was a combination of the changes and struggles I decided to accept in my life. I have just begun but the feeling of comfort and strength I am discovering is very amazing.

Late to the discussion, but what a great question, quelquechose! Like Leslie, I think there are several good kicks I have had along the way. But for me, the path to wholeness began with the realisation that I have the right to be wrong, and if I'm wrong it does not mean I will go to hell when I die.

I am a recovering envangelical. One day I woke up out of the fog and decided that if believing the right doctrine was my ticket into heaven and everyone else was going to burn in hell, then I'd rather burn with everyone else than spend eternity with a God that would be so... petty? So I almost dared God to strike me down. So far, I'm still here. And I think that living in the moment, imperfectly, wonderfully, abundantly, compassionately, is the only way to be.

And if I'm wrong and end up in hell, so be it. At least I was honest. :)

I've had several catalysts which have affected me, but the best ones have been purely existential ones; only by pitting myself against my peers and the environment can the true me emerge. I have defined myself by breaking free of confining situations.

No single experience is *the* moment, but I'll give you the top five:

First and foremost I have been a non-conformist most of my life. As a child I avoided fads, refused to belong to the "popular crowds", made a point of being comfortable regardless of what the dress code was.

When I was mugged in Boston--and rebuffed by the police when I sought to report it--I was forced to confront the fact that in the end, a man stands alone. I armed myself, and two weeks later when the incident sought to repeat itself, I stood my ground and told them, "You want what I got, then you have to bleed for it!"

When I missed the great love of my life, I deliberately put myself in the most exacting job I could, and reduced my living experience to the bare essentials. Thus, my head cleared and I could see the world for what it was.

When the job market rejected me, I rejected it in turn and took employment overseas.

When a natural disaster nearly claimed my life, I had to work my way out of it. Fighting for your right to live is a scary experience, and colors your outlook thereafter.

I got to be comfy with myself because I realized that if I didn't I would die, soon. It helped that I realized this a few years after I found my first actual friends (I was a damned antisocial child) and they were all older (than me) folks who could help me out with advice and a more experienced perspective.