When is it simply no one's business?

The difference is in whether you feel open about your emotions or ashamed. It is not a matter of whether anyone "needs" to know but about whether you hide it or simply let it come out through your daily existence of living.

Sometimes authenticity is shouting it to the stars and the moon and everyone around you, other times it's simply just being true and talking about what is relevant to you without fear or worry about who knows or doesn't know what.

As for love - there is no shame in loving fully and deeply. There is no shame in loving more than one person fully and deeply. There is no shame in others knowing this. If they judge you it is their judgement - not yours. Don't hide yourself because of other people's fears or ideas.

Be real, be full, and be honest. Those around you will adjust themselves as they feel necessary and it is not about you - it is about them.

"When is it simply no one's business?"

Most of the time.

It's taken me a long time to distill all that down to so few words, but they seem the most accurate.

Most of the time, what I do is no one's business but mine (and the folks with whom I do it). Conversely, what other people do is usually none of MY business.

Who I date, love, marry, fuck, shack up with, or reproduce with is no one's business, again, but mine and the folks who will be directly affected. Again, the converse is true.

Sometimes people who are not involved object to that, but that's okay, because other people's opinions of me are (deep breath...) none of my business.

That last one can be a real fucker if you're not careful. ;)

Language is important to me. I don't talk about other people's stuff -- I might say something like "I heard someone say ..." and only in relationship to talking about my own stuff. A few people notice, and even when they notice they may only actually hear less than 10% about what I am concerned about.

> when is it simply no one's busyness?
when am I simply not another person who is trying to respond to someone else's Busyness?

> how <<real>> do we really need to be to be authentic?
How <<authentic>> do we authentically need to be to be real? impeccably, radically honest.

> does everyone in my life NEED to know that I love two people?
only everyone in my life? only two?

> That I share beds with two guys?
I am honestly sharing beds with two guys? Wow! Great for me! ;) I would keep that a secret except from the two guys who I would be radically honest with. (oops, I'm giving away secrets)

> That I fell in love with someone when I was already in love with someone else?
Did I fall? Do I love? I'm in and I love. I am out and I love. I fall and I love. I rise and I love. Love is not an object I fall into. Love is a verb. Sometimes, I love drama.

> and have spent the last two years trying to keep it all together in that context?
trying is lying? try to feed the dog and the dog dies?

> and watched many things fall apart in spite of all my best efforts?
trying in spite? In my best effort, I stop trying, I stop making an effort, I let go and fall apart.

> At what point does wearing your heart on your sleeve become TMI for the whole world?
Is the whole world (poor me) coming to the point of my wearing my heart on my sleeve? Tiny Me Information?

> Where is the balance between being real and authentic and it just being no one else's business????
Where is the balance between being radically honest and keeping secret the things of benefit only to me? The things that might hurt someone else hearing? The things that someone else probably doesn't need/want to know? Someone is listening to me?