5 sexual mistakes Men make

topic posted Wed, June 6, 2007 - 2:52 PM by  Phoenix
One of the many challenges men have is to decide on what positions to use when getting booty. The biggest fears are that the woman will get bored with the "same old, same old" and as a result lose interest in sex. So the question becomes, what are the best sexual positions?

The best way to explain this is to talk about what NOT to do. With that in mind, I'll now talk about the top five mistakes guys make when it comes to sexual positions, so that way you won't continue making them.

Position Mistake 1: Imitating anything seen in a porn movie. This is probably the biggest reason that guys fail with sexual positions. Inexperienced guys think porn is a good model because they see studs banging beautiful broads, and… well, they just don't know any better. The problem is that sexual positions in those sorts of movies are meant to display a good scene for viewers, not to maximize pleasure for the actors.

And in fact, one of the WORST positions for clitoral and vaginal stimulation is when the woman puts her ankles on your shoulders. With her pelvis bent back that far, she can feel pain in her cervix if you push in too far. Plus it's a position that puts pressure. (If you ever have a chance to go behind the scenes and watch the making of an adult movie, you'll see how quickly the mood gets killed when the actress keeps having to stop the scene to go to the bathroom!)

Position Mistake 2: Trying too hard to keep your weight off the woman, in any position. To a woman, sex is a way to get closer to her man. She loves it when he leans on the underside of her thighs. So here's a tip for you to try... Next time you're having sex with your woman (while you're engaged in actual intercourse, that is), get more of your weight on her. You see, during sex, almost every woman enjoys feeling her man's body pressed hard against her.

So how much weight should you put on her? Make it enough so that after you come, and the sexual frenzy dissipates, your woman will tell you that she feels like she's being smooshed. Of course, do this within limits! If you're on top off her grinding her pubic bone for too long, it can feel painful for her.

But the bottom line is that many, many women like to be pressured by at least some of the man's weight. So save the gentlemanly sex for the royal family's women!

Position Mistake 3: Letting the woman do all the work when she's on top. For virtually every woman, sex is mostly a passive activity. So by being the motionless beta male, you destroy the whole purpose of sex for her, which is to open herself up to you penetrating into her body.

Position Mistake 4: Being a wimp. A lot of guys have read too many "Men are From Mars"-type books and think women like it if you ask permission for everything and let them take the lead. Be the alpha male instead and just "do it." Flip her over, move her here and there. Be aggressive and even toss her about like a rag doll when you want to change positions, and... she'll LOVE it! And don't worry about it. If something is going on that the woman doesn't like, she'll let you know.

Position Mistake 5: Thinking the trickier positions are better. You don't need to be upside down, hanging from a lamp, and doing something crazy. Just be normal. An old standby like the missionary (man on top, woman lying on her back) can be the best sexual position.

Tricky positions are just frustrating for everybody and often kill the mood because there's too much "where should I put my arm?"... and not enough "let's just have fun exploring."

John Alexander is author of How to Be Her Best Lover Ever, a groundbreaking sex guide for men that will make you so good in bed that your woman will beg you for more. Find out more about the best sexual positions by visiting www.HerBestLover.com
posted by:
Phoenix
Orlando
  • Re: 5 sexual mistakes Men make

    Wed, June 6, 2007 - 8:46 PM
    it was going good for the first two...then I thought it was a load of crap. Though really he's full of crap when he speaks for why women are having sex.

    with 3 not that I am against men not making the women do all of the work when she's on top. Though sometimes I do want to do all of the work. Of course I'll say so. But "For virtually every woman, sex is mostly a passive activity. So by being the motionless beta male, you destroy the whole purpose of sex for her, which is to open herself up to you penetrating into her body." is a load of crap IMO.

    4 shows that same tendancy that 3 showed of gross generalizations...that go very very wrong.

    strikes me as a scam to sell books.
    • Re: 5 sexual mistakes Men make

      Tue, June 19, 2007 - 4:53 PM
      Ummmm....if I'm in bed with a woman having a "passive" experience I get kinda bored.

      I like it to be active on all sides...and positions!!

      Yes, definitely a book selling approach. Boring. And sad if this is what other men are believing.
  • Unsu...
     

    Re: 5 sexual mistakes Men make

    Thu, June 7, 2007 - 12:33 AM
    I'm compelled to add, whomever the person that came up with this list doesn't have much of a clue about male sexual desire and motivations - geared to subtle demand that it work for women rather than advising how to make it work for both. It's just another bashing list of female disapproval, not constructive in the least and certainly not motivating.
    • Re: 5 sexual mistakes Men make

      Wed, June 27, 2007 - 6:01 AM
      >>For virtually every woman, sex is mostly a passive activity. So by being the motionless beta male, you destroy the whole purpose of sex for her, which is to open herself up to you penetrating into her body.<<

      What freakin planet is this guy from?? If I am enjoying myself, then there is NO freakin way that I am going to regard sex as a "passive activity" Sex (well, good sex at least) should not be passive. It should be passionate, and just... yeah. I think articles like this are stupid, and they get people too caught up in their head during sex. There is NO one thing that every woman likes. The BEST thing a guy (or girl) can do, is freakin relax and pay attention to what their partner is saying they like/don't like, and watch for signals.
      • Re: 5 sexual mistakes Men make

        Wed, June 27, 2007 - 11:22 AM
        ok, I was with him for most of #1. and then, that was it. ;)

        seriously, either this guy never gets laid or he has the most unsatisfied partner ever. I suspect he's only read about women, maybe never actually talked with one. sheesh ;)
      • Re: 5 sexual mistakes Men make

        Wed, November 7, 2007 - 2:56 PM
        you can be passive and still transfer and bounce energy off of your partner. i would call myself passive but am in no way non-passionate....it's all in the perspective i guess
  • Re: 5 sexual mistakes Men make

    Mon, August 13, 2007 - 1:04 PM
    durf? This guy must have very boring sex. I personally like having my legs pushed back like crazy. My favorite lover of all time did this and even moved me back a little in close to a head stand and found my very elusive g-spot. I have never had so many successive orgasms in my life... and I am a very active lover... it's one of the things the men in my life have loved and it has distinguished me for them. Personally, I also don't like a man's weight on me. This usually tells me he's out of shape. I am small, I get crushed easily, work it. Resting is for afterward.

    I do like to be manhandled, but I also like to switch roles. Really, I'm getting tired of all this gender role crap I keep seeing throughout tribe. You'll never cage me in, small minded traditionalists masquerading as helpers! Nix tricky positions? What are you, lazy? Yup, this is crap.
    • Re: 5 sexual mistakes Men make

      Mon, August 13, 2007 - 2:01 PM
      Heh... I totally agree the gender-role pigeon-holing, we could do really well without.

      I dunno if the trouble is so much laziness, though, as much as a sad habit of people not giving their sexual encounters enough... hmm... presence? It's SO sad how much I hear about people who have problems in bed because they simply aren't paying enough attention and/or being clear about what they want, like, and don't like. So sad that it's not easier for people to truly "be there" and be *comfortable* experimenting, and expressing themselves, and helping each other to figure out what they do or don't enjoy.

      Oh well.
      • Re: 5 sexual mistakes Men make

        Mon, August 13, 2007 - 2:24 PM
        I can see that. I had my first orgasm when I was preggers. I chalked it up to the fact that before, I was self conscious and always concerned about what my lover felt with no regard for just 'experiencing' it. Once I had a bun in the oven, I just didn't have the wherewithall to be self- conscious. My BF told me he loved me and it kicked me into comfort. I have never looked back.

        I have an idea...
  • Re: 5 sexual mistakes Men make

    Wed, November 7, 2007 - 10:10 AM
    Most of this is just sexist crap and highly inaccurate gross generalizations.

    However, I will support one point. And that's that porn is a sad excuse for sexual education. Not just positions, but attitudes, ways of interacting, safer sex practices, understandings of normalcy, relationship models, just about all of it, really.

    And it only gets worse when we start talking about really interesting stuff like bdsm.

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